Engraved Style: Rings and Things Personalized

Many superstitions attach to the wedding ring, probably
originating in the old Roman Catholic custom of its receiving
the benediction of the priest. Thus, in Ireland, the wedding
ring being rubbed on a wart or sore, cures it, and in
Somersetshire a stye upon the eyelid may be removed in a
like way. In some parts of Ireland a superstition still exists
that if a wart is pierced through a wedding ring with
a thorn from a gooseberry bush, the wart will gradually
disappear.

The Romans believed that a peculiar virtue lay
in the fourth finger of the left hand, that is, the ring finger;
and their physicians stirred medicines with it. A similar
superstition still obtains in many places in England, where
it is believed that the ring finger, by being stroked across a
sore or wound, can soon cure or heal it.
Many of the bridal ring superstitions are connected with
the wedding cake. Slices of the latter are sometimes put
through the ring nine times and laid under pillows at night,
to cause young persons to dream of their lovers. According
to another custom, a wedding ring is mixed with the
ingredients of the cake, and baked in it. When it is cut,
the person who secures the slice containing the ring will secure
with it good fortune during the ensuing year, and,
should the possessor be a maiden, a suitor and a happy marriage.
At Burnley it is a very common practice at marriages
to put a wedding ring into a posset, and after the
liquor has been served out, the single person whose cup contains
the ring will be the first of the company to be married.
Another custom at this place is to put a wedding
ring and a sixpence into a common flat currant cake. When
the company are about to retire at the end of the day the
cake is broken and distributed among the single women.
She who gets the ring in her portion of the cake will shortly
be married, and the one who gets the sixpence will die an
old maid. In Northumberland divination was practised by
fishing with a ladle for a wedding ring which had been
dropped into a syllabub, the object being to obtain a prognostication
of who should be first married.
Another superstition is, that if a wife should lose her
wedding ring she will also lose her husband’s affection, and
if she should break it her husband will shortly afterwards
die. Many married women will not take off their wedding
rings under any circumstances, because the removal of them
would portend the deaths of their husbands. An old saying
is that, ” As your wedding ring wears your cares will
wear away.”

From The Wedding Day in All Ages and Countries: In All Ages and Countries by Edward J. Wood

No, I am not talking about the wedding ring engravings that spell out the couple’s initials and birthdays or the date of the wedding. Not even the ones that have wedding vows engraved on them or feature memorable quotes, mottos and mantras - what have you. I am talking about all of the above, but from a very different perspective.

In an interview with The Star, John Thompson, director of Birks on Bloor St. W., says that has seen a lot of shy and nervous soon-to-be newlyweds. “I find people take the buying of the wedding bands very seriously,” he says. “The trend now is for something quite plain, and often people have the date and their initials engraved inside – which indicates to me that they intend to wear it a long time, they are taking it seriously, and they want something that they won’t get tired of.”

He added that men are somewhat hesitant about wearing a wedding band, not because of lack of commitment but simply because they’ve never worn a ring before. “A lot of men say it feels kind of strange, and it is their first and only piece of `jewellery.’” (I highlighted the most important parts)

In my opinion, these are very important sociological observations. Most interestingly, if you choose to engrave your wedding rings you are sending a signal to everybody, including your future spouse! The signal that says, “This is a serious thing. We will wear these rings for a long-long time.” The psychological motives behind this may be simple. By creating special memories and unique shared experiences people tend to become closer to each other. Traditionally this is meant to be achieved by having an expensive wedding with many guests. True, this is a sure way to create memories and family ties. We all know, of course, that expensive weddings do not insure against divorces any better than modest ceremonies. Why would a wedding ring engraving create any hopes for a better married life?

As we have already noted, when couples choose to have their rings engraved they display the strength of their commitment. The actual engraved rings reinforce their commitment. While still a part of the wedding ceremony held in public (expensive of not), the traditional exchanging of the rings becomes more intimate and meaningful for the bride and the groom. The memories associated with engraved wedding rings are more personal and enduring than the recollections of a public event that is a wedding. And that’s the reason why engraving your wedding bands has the potential to add lasting value to a relationship.

Now, of course, if you look from this perspective, choosing an inscription for your wedding rings becomes an even more serious task. Wouldn’t it seem that the more personal the message on the wedding rings, the better?

And, speaking of unusual engravings on wedding rings, how does “Lobster” sound to you?

This is a little excerpt from a late Victorian book on good manners. The last phrase should be especially noted, as it reveals the source of modern sensibilities regarding engagement rings.

“The Responsibilities of a Bridegroom from a pecuniary point of view commence from the moment of his engagement. He must at once present the bride-elect with an engagement ring. A man of even moderate wealth finds no difficulty in choosing and purchasing a handsome ring costing from £50 to £100; but a poor man, possessing but a small income, is often put to more expense than he can conveniently afford in the matter of an engagement ring. He knows all the members of the bride’s family will sit in judgment upon it if it is but a poor bauble worth about £10, which is quite as much as he feels he is justified in spending; he knows that both it and himself will be regarded as very mean, or as conveying a not very inspiriting prospect of days to come. The engagement ring worn on the bride’s finger after marriage is a lasting memento, and if a poor one she will not be proud of it — neither will he. Rich men take the brides to choose engagement rings, expense being no object to them; but poor men cannot do this, as the choice might fall on gems beyond their means, therefore they make the choice themselves, according to the position of the families they are about to enter. If the standing is above their own, from a money point of view, the engagement rings have to be chosen in accordance with the jewels worn by members of such families, and a bridegroom would thus spend £40 at least on an engagement ring suitable to a lady so placed.

On the other hand, when men with small incomes marry the daughters of parents of a similar position to their own, the engagement rings given are not costly ones, and a ten-pound note, or even less, would cover the cost of these binding tokens. The wedding rings are within the means of all bridegrooms, be they ever so poor.”

The number 434 in relation to engraved rings may sound extremely enigmatic and somewhat similar to the cryptic approach to engraving your wedding ring . The mystery can be explained very easily. A popular Christian abstinence program that promotes its cause through wearing silver purity rings uses a passage from First Thessalonians 4.3-4 as a inspirational motto. The numbers are also featured on Christian purity rings that can be obtained through the program. These rings can typically only bought after attending one of the events sponsored by the program, also it is likely that there is some secondary market, as well as imitations (if you shop for jewelry at tiffany &co or at Zales you’re out of luck). The Scripture passage (1 Thessalonians 4.3-4) that is used for these purity rings goes like this:

NIV:

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable,

KJV:

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;

Vulgate (Latin):

haec est enim voluntas Dei sanctificatio vestra ut abstineatis vos a fornicatione ut sciat unusquisque vestrum suum vas possidere in sanctificatione et honore

Learn more about purity rings!

Let’s take a look an another popular ring design that is predominantly popular among men: tire rings. As it can be clearly seen in the Men’s Stainless Steel Tire Ring pictured here, these rings are fashioned after the familiar look of a car tire. The engraved treads (like the ones you see on the wheel of a car, a truck or a motorcycle) go all around the ring, and the shiny tire detail stands out against the brushed surface.

Stainless steel is a very manly material, of course. It is also among the materials that are becoming increasingly popular in jewelry making. As one would imagine, tire rings are appropriate for most men, because most me love cars, own cars and often take pride in them. It is generally a very masculine design, as I said. Needless to say, an engraved tire ring is even more appropriate for guys (and gals!) who spend a lot of time behind the wheel and make their living driving trucks, taxi’s and so on.
And don’t forget that tire rings can also be engraved on the inside, adding another level of personalization and significance. You can engrave the name of the owner, the favorite car make or model, a monogram or a simple motto. May I say that if the ring wearer happens to prefer Volvo the brand name also serves as a motto, because this word means “I roll” in Latin.

Also, in some very extreme cases a tire ring may be the only ring that a guy would agree to wear. Well, since treaded rings are very discreet in their appearance you can use them for your wedding ceremony

I have to say that I am yet to figure out the reasons why exactly wave rings are as popular as they are. Most of the designs I see are reminiscent of Ancient Greek pottery ornamental patterns. Technically, the traditional rectilinear meander can be called a wave pattern, but usually rings display what clearly looks like actual waves. Such designs reveal strong similarities to the Chinese concept of Yin Yang. The circular shape in this case can be interpreted as relegated to the shape of the entire ring. My second guess is that there are many people who the wave rings a sea-faring talismans that can be worn by sailors, fishermen and their wives and girlfriends. If so, the idea of matching rings is enhanced by the design that features mirroring elements. Or could it be that people just like the way the undulating waves look? The sound of ocean waves are known to have a calming effect on most people…

I have looked at several different websites that offer applets for designing your own engagement rings. Amazon has a very attractive ring design feature that can help you achieve what you want through several simple stages. First, you narrow down the choices of available diamonds - by shape, price, cut, clarity, color and carat-size. All this is done on a single page, mind you! Then you have to pick the diamond you want from a list. After that you select the setting: the metal and the style. At that stage, the price will be shown and you can simply add the newly designed ring to your shopping cart. Whether you actually want to buy the ring you have designed, is entirely up to you. But it sure is fun to play with this applet! The only thing that is clearly missing is the ability to add a custom engraving to the design.

Create Your Own Ring!